The Beauty of Absence

It truly never ceases to amaze me on my journey through life how each and every day there is some change effected upon us. Whether this is something minute, or grand and life changing, every day the experience is slightly different. As humans, we tend to dwell overmuch on those changes we see as 'negative' throwing out those events that have worked out to our favor. One of the most potent niches that this type of behavior is prevalent in is that of loss. For some reason, regardless of what it is we have lost, we view that missing person or thing as a depreciation of our overall situation in life. Perhaps it is a matter of comfort, that people resist change of any sort. Perhaps it is greed, in that they wish to retain all they gain and lose nothing. Or perhaps it is merely a representation of the human condition:  that we cannot wholly perceive the circumstances that have preceded the change, nor the intended result of it. (This is being written on the premise that you agree that there IS an intent behind the mechanisms of the world, but that's a discussion for another article.) What this leaves us with, if we react as men tend to do, is either anger, sadness, or confusion. I posit that instead of those ways of thinking, you instead see each change as a new open door, an opportunity. For every space that is vacated in your life, there is a void that you can fill with whatever you choose. Many men see this and try to fill it with material goods, or drugs, or false love, because they fear that space. It makes us uneasy to see emptiness, particularly in what we view as important stations in our lives. If you must fill that space with something, fill it with what will bring you the greatest betterment, happiness, and peace. Ultimately, however, I wish you to consider leaving those spaces vacant. Peer into that void, find out what it is about what you've lost that makes you feel incomplete, and strive to externalize those things that are not directly part of your self.

You find most often that those people who are most at peace are those who have least. This is not because they have become peaceable with their misfortunes in life, it is that they understand the nature of the absence of something. To find out what is NOT part of you is the most efficient way to figure out which elements are. After you've lost everything that is not your essence, those things that remain are the truest parts of you. Do not underestimate the importance of loss, absence, and space. In these times, men afford themselves far to little of any of those. Whatever we lose, collectively, as humans, it cannot beat us. We are strangely temporal beings in that fact, we understand that something that was no longer is, and yet we have the capacity to take that concept and move forward with it. The one thing that has held us back is our short memories. Know that as individuals, every experience you endure, or enjoy, impacts all of us in a profound way.

But I digress. Appreciate your losses, mourn them while you must, but then drink deeply of the wisdom and compassion that you can gain from the experience.

Absence truly can be beautiful.