I'm sure the cliche 'nice guys finish last' is well known, but most people don't give it enough thought to determine the true meaning behind the phrase. This is a lesson that is applicable in every facet of one's life, but most notably in relationships.
The kinder you are, the more likely you are to be stepped on.
Now, that doesn't mean I advocate being an asshole. In fact, it's quite the opposite. While that statement is certainly true, the fact of the matter is that those people are often abused so that the offending party can give themselves a quick leg-up in a situation. In the long term, karmically, those kinder people will often grow into stronger individuals, and be led to more successful paths in their lives.
What does this mean to you? First is the fact that yes, you should be a 'nice' person, but in doing so you are guaranteed to open yourself up to hardships and pain that you otherwise would not experience. The other side of that coin, however, is that in so doing, you will reach heights that you would otherwise not. Second, you must not begrudge those people who do harm you on your path. It is rarely your place to deliver recompense for wrongdoing against you, and the most fruitful course of action to take is to allow it as little power of influence over your life as possible. Sure, at some points, you are going to be hurt by people you genuinely care about; but, don't allow that to cloud your vision as to the true nature of your behavior. Your identity, and more importantly the essence that formed that identity, is not a thing that you should allow to shift with the tides of your environment. You can choose to be malleable, true, and at certain stages of your life change will indeed be necessary, but the key is to make it deliberate change that you've decided will be for the betterment of your life. Don't indulge vengeful thoughts, especially against those people you would have at one time called most dear to your heart; because if you do, you are validating their behavior toward you. If you instead continue on the path you've chosen to be your personal truth, and disallow those outside influences to affect your pace on said course, then the burden of guilt falls on your attacker.
Finally, to address the actual title of the article. Kind people most often tend to take it upon themselves to sacrifice something of their own for other peoples happiness. The alternative would be for both parties to reach a compromise on whatever the issue may be. The reason this happens is due to the imbalance of effort in these interpersonal relations. The typical development will end up with one party trying to hold up a relationship on their own, while the scale tips and the opposing party reaps all the immediate rewards of the first's benevolence. This chain of events inevitably leads to the aforementioned abuse, but now we can see why the kinder party emerges ahead. While that effort, within the context of that singular relationship, can often seem for naught; on the whole, when one considers personal development, it builds them to allow even greater effort to be put forth in more egalitarian environments. If those people do indeed not allow themselves to be set off course by those transpired events that seem at first to be failures, they will continue on with more fervent pace, and a certain heart.
Be strong in your actions, resolute in your decisions, and stoic against those winds that wish to blow you off course. Know who you are, and take comfort in that knowledge, because any person who would take action that seems contrary to your identity does so out of ignorance or fear. I do hope this has been helpful to some of you. Comment, respond, do all those internet things people love to do, but leave some feedback (because I know all of you have opinions).
Until next time.
No comments:
Post a Comment