Thousands of miles, millions of steps, an endless stream of dream and contemplation. What does the distance I've traveled really add up to, and what has mattered in the long run?
Every experience, from the smallest acts of breathing up to the huge life-changing steps I've taken, has helped me begin to define myself in ways that I would not have thought possible.
I was prideful enough to believe that there would never be a string of any words in any order out in the infinity of communication that, when spoken together, could call to mind no other entity than that which I am; and, who knows, perhaps that is still true, but what has certainly changed is my willingness to accept clarity, and to create in my life the key to the gate guarding progress.
In just a few years of effort, after a moderate lifetime of self-loathing, I have managed to come across the sea from a place where I could not even look at myself in the mirror without risking illness to being capable of saying "I love myself" and really, truly, meaning it.
That shift, viewed in its wholeness, is absolutely incredible. I remember the days where I could not have even imagined standing in the place where I stand now. In fact, there were many days where I doubted that my feet would even manage to carry me this far. I scoffed at the people who claimed to have survived what I was describing, and rolled my eyes at those who told me to stick it out because 'it gets better'. Now here I am on the threshold between all of those negative experiences and what has every possibility of becoming an extraordinary life, and the wheel turns, as I speak those same words as those who came before me.
It doesn't matter how rough it gets, because there is no storm that you cannot weather. Every pain you have endured has served only to chip away at the image you hold of your weakness, showing the strength beneath. Hurt and loss are only two of our many teachers in this life experience, and they bear the burden of administering the rigors you endure in becoming who you are. Do not curse them, or yourself, instead try to act out of forgiveness, and graciousness, because even those things which break you down to your basest parts are only ever purposed for your greater success as a human being.
Take risks, and opportunities. Wear your heart on your sleeve. Never let a bad thing spoil a good one. Follow your gut. Love deeply, and often. Forgive everything.
Be present, and your safe, comfortable, place will always be right there in your shoes.
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Thought and Contemplation
Just a little disclaimer, this article was written from a stream of consciousness, and perhaps the thread that connects all of these thoughts is tenuous. If you find it difficult to follow, please feel free to leave questions, and I will make my best effort to answer them. This is an understanding in gestation, so please forgive its incompleteness.
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I have struggled these last few years with many things, and over and over I have seen cycles born and completed. The unending microcosms infinitely expanding into macrocosms, the very breath of life weaving its way from being to being, from thought to thought, and from heart to heart.
In the beginning, I was a player in this drama, taking responsibility for the manipulation of the images I saw before me. Attempting, vainly, to pull threads of consciousness together to form the skein of an "ideal" world. Acting, in my own way, as if the spark of the divine that smolders within me gave me not only the power, but the duty to affect change on the world that exists outside my own experience. I spent months searching my own mind, books, teachers of men, any knowledge that I could find in an effort to create for myself an identity for the ancient energy that gives me form. Entire lifetimes hidden away within each cell that composes me. I feel, in every instant, a clear and acute sense of this vast store of experience, as if I had left a mark in every footstep I've taken. When I quiet my mind and close my eyes, sometimes I can even see the colors dancing before me, practicing that eldest of arts, drawing ever closer to perfection in their expression, but very rarely is their meaning clear.
I seek now in a way very different from the mode in which I began. The paths that lay before me twist and intertwine like the roots of a tree, but only now does their pattern begin to allow clarity of vision. This revelation of understanding, as with most, came from a very simple realization. There is a difference between thought and knowledge.
In the silent blackness of sleep, the energies that communicate with us every second of every day take their opportunity to present their message upon a blank canvas, free of the harshly humanistic judgement of the logical mind. That is precisely where my work is to begin. Many cultures across the world have since ancient times revered the realm of dreams, giving credence to the wisdom that can be gleaned from it, but those insights are not lost to us in the waking world. The only barrier that stands between our selves, in the eternal sense, and the self in our daily life is an unwillingness to know. Even now this knowledge remains frustrating to work around. So often we try to fool ourselves into believing that what we receive in life is anything but what it is that we want, and moreso that our results lie contrary to our efforts. The falsity of this belief has been lain bare, due to this understanding. Nothing is ever affected upon us by anyone other than ourselves. We are, at our core, creators, creators of great and terrible things, scientists, artists, craftsmen, and everything that lies between, but paramount to all else is our facility to create meaning. For every event in our lives that we give thought to, there is a story. And the more time we spend in the realm of fantasy we build around that story, the larger it gets. It is wholly possible to take an experience that in reality only lasts a few moments, and extrapolate it into entire lifetimes, and it is precisely this that is dangerous.
When we create from a place of conjecture, or thought, rather than a place of knowledge, we build for ourselves a fantasy with no foundation. Without the exercise of the intuition, this assignment of meaning is arbitrary and pointless at best, and harmful at worst. Think of the conversations you've never had, the experiences you avoided, the foods you didn't taste, the places you didn't travel to, all because it required a decision, and around that decision you built a story. That is thought, in its essence. It is the ego, furiously trying to spin itself into self-sufficience that it is completely incapable of. Continuing to rely on this structure after coming to this understanding would have been tantamount to mental masturbation. Fruitless. But with the release of the old paradigm, there came the sight of the new.
Each of us has the capacity for knowledge, and when I state that I mean knowledge free from the restrictive constraints of physicality that claim the misnomer of reality. After all, attempting to embrace an incomplete understanding while fooling yourself into believing that, at the very least, the borders are in the correct places, will only limit your capacity to grow and expand. What I propose, instead, is that you embrace the understanding that in any given moment everything that is, and was, and will be, stands together as a whole, a whole to which you are an essential and unique part. Through this connectedness, you have access quite literally to omniscience, but we have grown to limit ourselves by our ability to perceive, or more accurately, our physical senses. Outside of those, our perception is factually exponentially larger. So the practicum becomes, sit in a space without your senses. Do not make effort to contort the information that comes into your awareness or bend it to your purposes. Take it, examine it, understand it, and after you are certain you have seen precisely what there is to be seen, begin to operate your mind around it. That is, in my current understanding, the true purpose of our mental process. To take the wisdom and information from our higher selves, and find mechanisms through which those designs can come into being.
This topic is so large, so much greater than my life experience, that I hardly have the capacity of speech to even begin to describe it in rudimentary terms. The flashes of understanding flow past my awareness with an incredible speed, and I am struggling every day to catch glimpses from which I can gain clarity. I apologize that my capacity for explanation is so lacking at this juncture, but I understand quite clearly that this is not a process that I will complete quickly, nor is it one that I can expect to fully comprehend at the age of nineteen. I will continue my work, and further my understanding as I am able. Soon, now, I feel I will know my mission, and what a blessed day that will surely be.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have struggled these last few years with many things, and over and over I have seen cycles born and completed. The unending microcosms infinitely expanding into macrocosms, the very breath of life weaving its way from being to being, from thought to thought, and from heart to heart.
In the beginning, I was a player in this drama, taking responsibility for the manipulation of the images I saw before me. Attempting, vainly, to pull threads of consciousness together to form the skein of an "ideal" world. Acting, in my own way, as if the spark of the divine that smolders within me gave me not only the power, but the duty to affect change on the world that exists outside my own experience. I spent months searching my own mind, books, teachers of men, any knowledge that I could find in an effort to create for myself an identity for the ancient energy that gives me form. Entire lifetimes hidden away within each cell that composes me. I feel, in every instant, a clear and acute sense of this vast store of experience, as if I had left a mark in every footstep I've taken. When I quiet my mind and close my eyes, sometimes I can even see the colors dancing before me, practicing that eldest of arts, drawing ever closer to perfection in their expression, but very rarely is their meaning clear.
I seek now in a way very different from the mode in which I began. The paths that lay before me twist and intertwine like the roots of a tree, but only now does their pattern begin to allow clarity of vision. This revelation of understanding, as with most, came from a very simple realization. There is a difference between thought and knowledge.
In the silent blackness of sleep, the energies that communicate with us every second of every day take their opportunity to present their message upon a blank canvas, free of the harshly humanistic judgement of the logical mind. That is precisely where my work is to begin. Many cultures across the world have since ancient times revered the realm of dreams, giving credence to the wisdom that can be gleaned from it, but those insights are not lost to us in the waking world. The only barrier that stands between our selves, in the eternal sense, and the self in our daily life is an unwillingness to know. Even now this knowledge remains frustrating to work around. So often we try to fool ourselves into believing that what we receive in life is anything but what it is that we want, and moreso that our results lie contrary to our efforts. The falsity of this belief has been lain bare, due to this understanding. Nothing is ever affected upon us by anyone other than ourselves. We are, at our core, creators, creators of great and terrible things, scientists, artists, craftsmen, and everything that lies between, but paramount to all else is our facility to create meaning. For every event in our lives that we give thought to, there is a story. And the more time we spend in the realm of fantasy we build around that story, the larger it gets. It is wholly possible to take an experience that in reality only lasts a few moments, and extrapolate it into entire lifetimes, and it is precisely this that is dangerous.
When we create from a place of conjecture, or thought, rather than a place of knowledge, we build for ourselves a fantasy with no foundation. Without the exercise of the intuition, this assignment of meaning is arbitrary and pointless at best, and harmful at worst. Think of the conversations you've never had, the experiences you avoided, the foods you didn't taste, the places you didn't travel to, all because it required a decision, and around that decision you built a story. That is thought, in its essence. It is the ego, furiously trying to spin itself into self-sufficience that it is completely incapable of. Continuing to rely on this structure after coming to this understanding would have been tantamount to mental masturbation. Fruitless. But with the release of the old paradigm, there came the sight of the new.
Each of us has the capacity for knowledge, and when I state that I mean knowledge free from the restrictive constraints of physicality that claim the misnomer of reality. After all, attempting to embrace an incomplete understanding while fooling yourself into believing that, at the very least, the borders are in the correct places, will only limit your capacity to grow and expand. What I propose, instead, is that you embrace the understanding that in any given moment everything that is, and was, and will be, stands together as a whole, a whole to which you are an essential and unique part. Through this connectedness, you have access quite literally to omniscience, but we have grown to limit ourselves by our ability to perceive, or more accurately, our physical senses. Outside of those, our perception is factually exponentially larger. So the practicum becomes, sit in a space without your senses. Do not make effort to contort the information that comes into your awareness or bend it to your purposes. Take it, examine it, understand it, and after you are certain you have seen precisely what there is to be seen, begin to operate your mind around it. That is, in my current understanding, the true purpose of our mental process. To take the wisdom and information from our higher selves, and find mechanisms through which those designs can come into being.
This topic is so large, so much greater than my life experience, that I hardly have the capacity of speech to even begin to describe it in rudimentary terms. The flashes of understanding flow past my awareness with an incredible speed, and I am struggling every day to catch glimpses from which I can gain clarity. I apologize that my capacity for explanation is so lacking at this juncture, but I understand quite clearly that this is not a process that I will complete quickly, nor is it one that I can expect to fully comprehend at the age of nineteen. I will continue my work, and further my understanding as I am able. Soon, now, I feel I will know my mission, and what a blessed day that will surely be.
Monday, May 14, 2012
Two Horizons
Duality. It's an interesting concept. People have come to believe that there exist two separate and distinct realms of existence, one good, one bad. One dark, one light. Whatever the distinction is that is drawn, the individual tends to choose this system to define for themselves why it is that they are correct, and those who see the world differently, or in some way oppose them, are wrong. It's a way to support a stoic, unwavering, dense, closed-minded understanding of the world. I've come to believe that this is built upon a flawed understanding of the nature of the universe, and that the delusion is twofold.
First, the world is not inherently dualistic. There is no good and evil. There is no right or wrong. There are only decisions, and experiences around them, and our perception leads us to categorize them one way or another. The bit where we, as humans, run into trouble with this is when we build up our own system of categorization to a point where we believe ourselves infallible in our capacity to determine the outcome of any given situation, and from there we begin to impose our understanding on those around us. The wisdom that must be reached is that for any given person, the truths inherent to their lives are completely different from those of any other person. You never have any right to determine for someone else that what they are doing is wrong, because it's not your experience, nor is it your decision, and most of all, you aren't the one carrying the burden of consequence. Once we come to the conclusion that truth is just as individual as every other part of what it is to be human, we'll be a step closer to achieving something worth celebrating.
Second, life is not linear, and goals are not static. This is a pitfall, and quite a common one, especially in modern american culture. What are you supposed to do with your life? Go through school, get a job, get married, save money, have kids, retire, die. And the only real flexibility that is afforded by society is that you're allowed to fill in the blank about what it is you're going to study. It's almost as if you've got a form to fill out and turn in, rather than writing a story from scratch about what you want your life to be. I, for one, think that is utter bullshit; and so is the fact that there is some stigma attached to living your life out of what is seen as the acceptable sequence. If you decide you don't need to, or don't want to, do one of the things on the above list. You could be ridiculed, or worse. My own close friends have taken it upon themselves to chide me for withdrawing from a college I was attending, for reasons that I really didn't have to explain to anyone but myself, and then they had the audacity to say: "If leaving college was a step forward for you, you're an idiot."
Now, that was a prime example of what I'm trying to impart to you tonight. In my life, yes, that was a necessary step that put me in a better place than I was previously. More than that, it was the first time I actually stood up for myself, and showed some self-respect, rather than enduring more torture for the sake of a piece of paper that essentially would have said "Congratulations, you've sold your soul for this diploma!" Perhaps I'll end up going back to school, perhaps I won't, that's my concern, not theirs, but here's the key of it: It's not a point worth arguing, because I understand the two bits of information I noted above. What's true for me in this situation might not be true for them in theirs, and they could be just as convicted in their veracity as I am in mine, the only thing that saves me from being wrong is that it is not their decision to make. Then there's the fact that in my experience, maybe I'm meant to take a non-traditional path to non-traditional success. I think that's exciting.
Moral of this story, a knowing smile and a shake of the head before going on about your business is the best way to win a pointless argument. Do what you're here to do, and don't worry about explaining it to anyone else. Good evening, all.
-EC
First, the world is not inherently dualistic. There is no good and evil. There is no right or wrong. There are only decisions, and experiences around them, and our perception leads us to categorize them one way or another. The bit where we, as humans, run into trouble with this is when we build up our own system of categorization to a point where we believe ourselves infallible in our capacity to determine the outcome of any given situation, and from there we begin to impose our understanding on those around us. The wisdom that must be reached is that for any given person, the truths inherent to their lives are completely different from those of any other person. You never have any right to determine for someone else that what they are doing is wrong, because it's not your experience, nor is it your decision, and most of all, you aren't the one carrying the burden of consequence. Once we come to the conclusion that truth is just as individual as every other part of what it is to be human, we'll be a step closer to achieving something worth celebrating.
Second, life is not linear, and goals are not static. This is a pitfall, and quite a common one, especially in modern american culture. What are you supposed to do with your life? Go through school, get a job, get married, save money, have kids, retire, die. And the only real flexibility that is afforded by society is that you're allowed to fill in the blank about what it is you're going to study. It's almost as if you've got a form to fill out and turn in, rather than writing a story from scratch about what you want your life to be. I, for one, think that is utter bullshit; and so is the fact that there is some stigma attached to living your life out of what is seen as the acceptable sequence. If you decide you don't need to, or don't want to, do one of the things on the above list. You could be ridiculed, or worse. My own close friends have taken it upon themselves to chide me for withdrawing from a college I was attending, for reasons that I really didn't have to explain to anyone but myself, and then they had the audacity to say: "If leaving college was a step forward for you, you're an idiot."
Now, that was a prime example of what I'm trying to impart to you tonight. In my life, yes, that was a necessary step that put me in a better place than I was previously. More than that, it was the first time I actually stood up for myself, and showed some self-respect, rather than enduring more torture for the sake of a piece of paper that essentially would have said "Congratulations, you've sold your soul for this diploma!" Perhaps I'll end up going back to school, perhaps I won't, that's my concern, not theirs, but here's the key of it: It's not a point worth arguing, because I understand the two bits of information I noted above. What's true for me in this situation might not be true for them in theirs, and they could be just as convicted in their veracity as I am in mine, the only thing that saves me from being wrong is that it is not their decision to make. Then there's the fact that in my experience, maybe I'm meant to take a non-traditional path to non-traditional success. I think that's exciting.
Moral of this story, a knowing smile and a shake of the head before going on about your business is the best way to win a pointless argument. Do what you're here to do, and don't worry about explaining it to anyone else. Good evening, all.
-EC
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Lost, yet Hopeful
It seems that the world around me has turned from a pointed whirlwind of one sort or another, where I could determine the true nature of an experience and label it thusly, to a squall of the most anomalous, confusing combinations of experiences that I've ever had to filter through. Any given day of late could be described by that famous line from A Tale of Two Cities, and it is certainly interesting to be presented with such sets of emotion simultaneously. Perhaps I'm even managing to project this conflict onto the world around me, as things become less and less certain the more I analyze them. I see all of the possibilities, and none of the truths behind them. That is more frustrating than I can state, but it's led me to a point of almost passive observance of the interactions of the people around me. I interject from time to time, where I feel it's warranted, but overall I try usually to remain in the position of the listener. I do this because I am sure that as I look back at this period of my life, I will be more glad for the things I heard than the things I've said.
I met someone interesting many months ago, but my inability to function the way other men do in social situations left me at a loss in trying to foster a friendship. Now, for some reason unbeknownst to me, this person seems almost ever-present in my consciousness. The thing that makes it most interesting at the moment is the fact that at first I viewed this person upon introduction as being harsh, and combative, almost unpalatable; but now, even though we still hardly ever agree on most important issues, I feel the murmurings of something on a cosmic level. I'm not sure what role I am to play in their life, or what they will play in mine, but I am glad to have the opportunity to experience them in whatever capacity I am able. It is so hard, however disappointing this may be, to find any decent intellectual conversation, especially when it's not based purely on rhetoric... When I try to read this person, and really look into their eyes, I see that same spark that smolders within my own heart.
I've found a kindred spirit.
Outside of my generally useless musings on the social front (or at least useless as far as their ability to aid or inform the reader is concerned) the progression of life is continuing at its walking pace, but I do sense an upcoming descent down the proverbial hill that will begin to give me the momentum I need to journey forth to wherever it is I'm now headed. Alliances have been tried, new ones have been forged, old ones have been broken, and the cycle continues. This particular piece functions mainly as a method of whispering forth my wish of things to come, and for that I apologize, because I try most often to serve the reader rather than myself. If there is one piece of advice I can offer on this crisp and cloudless night:
Look to the moon, and know that I, too, am watching. For that moment, our consciousnesses are linked through common experience. It's almost as if I could close my eyes and drift up to it.
Do you feel it too?
I met someone interesting many months ago, but my inability to function the way other men do in social situations left me at a loss in trying to foster a friendship. Now, for some reason unbeknownst to me, this person seems almost ever-present in my consciousness. The thing that makes it most interesting at the moment is the fact that at first I viewed this person upon introduction as being harsh, and combative, almost unpalatable; but now, even though we still hardly ever agree on most important issues, I feel the murmurings of something on a cosmic level. I'm not sure what role I am to play in their life, or what they will play in mine, but I am glad to have the opportunity to experience them in whatever capacity I am able. It is so hard, however disappointing this may be, to find any decent intellectual conversation, especially when it's not based purely on rhetoric... When I try to read this person, and really look into their eyes, I see that same spark that smolders within my own heart.
I've found a kindred spirit.
Outside of my generally useless musings on the social front (or at least useless as far as their ability to aid or inform the reader is concerned) the progression of life is continuing at its walking pace, but I do sense an upcoming descent down the proverbial hill that will begin to give me the momentum I need to journey forth to wherever it is I'm now headed. Alliances have been tried, new ones have been forged, old ones have been broken, and the cycle continues. This particular piece functions mainly as a method of whispering forth my wish of things to come, and for that I apologize, because I try most often to serve the reader rather than myself. If there is one piece of advice I can offer on this crisp and cloudless night:
Look to the moon, and know that I, too, am watching. For that moment, our consciousnesses are linked through common experience. It's almost as if I could close my eyes and drift up to it.
Do you feel it too?
Monday, December 12, 2011
Unspoken Truths
Oftentimes in my life, I have found myself in a position where I don't have the vocabulary to fully express how I feel about something. In those moments, when my mastery of language fails, I turn to that medium that I have dedicated myself to: Music.
Music, to me, is that one remaining bastion of pure truth in a world of deceitfulness and corruption. It is the outlet of expression for the soul that bypasses our ability to cognitively recognize and communicate what it is we feel. It's almost as if empathy flows forth, as does compassion, sorrow, anger, whatever it is I need to express to the world around me comes out in the subtleties and finesse of performance. It's so cathartic, in fact, that many times I forget when there actually is an audience. It becomes a matter of connecting to God and allowing that force to speak through me for a time, it truly is the highest spiritual experience I've been able to attain. How wonderful is this gift I've been given, that not only am I able to express what I feel, but I'm also able to go back to the composers that have left behind those inscriptions of what they felt at a time, or their world condition, and filter that through the lens of my perception and experience and make it relevant again! In what other way can we be so connected to our past, our lineage, the great achievements of history, than to know that the pitches and rhythms I produce are the same that were brought forth into being tens, if not hundreds of years ago, and were heard by the people of that generation.
It is communication at its paramount, the material through which people can connect, all over the world, and savor their emotions knowing that they are understood, and are not alone. What greater thing could you offer a man in his time of sorrow than to play a song that shows exactly how he feels? You couldn't accomplish that with words in a hundred years. Words are clumsy, they have multiple meanings, they can be misunderstood, they can be twisted, taken out of context, but most prevalent is that they can fail to truly express what we wish them to express. That is not true of music, and it is the reason why when I have something that is of utmost importance to me to communicate to someone else, I use it before I speak, and they understand.
It is the white light in my world, that unadulterated truth to which I have devoted my life to the understanding of, and sharing with the world. As I learn more, and experience more, and sink deeper into it's warmth, I become closer to what I feel is the ultimate in the human experience.
What is the fire that burns, but does not consume?
It is truth.
And I speak my truth through music.
Music, to me, is that one remaining bastion of pure truth in a world of deceitfulness and corruption. It is the outlet of expression for the soul that bypasses our ability to cognitively recognize and communicate what it is we feel. It's almost as if empathy flows forth, as does compassion, sorrow, anger, whatever it is I need to express to the world around me comes out in the subtleties and finesse of performance. It's so cathartic, in fact, that many times I forget when there actually is an audience. It becomes a matter of connecting to God and allowing that force to speak through me for a time, it truly is the highest spiritual experience I've been able to attain. How wonderful is this gift I've been given, that not only am I able to express what I feel, but I'm also able to go back to the composers that have left behind those inscriptions of what they felt at a time, or their world condition, and filter that through the lens of my perception and experience and make it relevant again! In what other way can we be so connected to our past, our lineage, the great achievements of history, than to know that the pitches and rhythms I produce are the same that were brought forth into being tens, if not hundreds of years ago, and were heard by the people of that generation.
It is communication at its paramount, the material through which people can connect, all over the world, and savor their emotions knowing that they are understood, and are not alone. What greater thing could you offer a man in his time of sorrow than to play a song that shows exactly how he feels? You couldn't accomplish that with words in a hundred years. Words are clumsy, they have multiple meanings, they can be misunderstood, they can be twisted, taken out of context, but most prevalent is that they can fail to truly express what we wish them to express. That is not true of music, and it is the reason why when I have something that is of utmost importance to me to communicate to someone else, I use it before I speak, and they understand.
It is the white light in my world, that unadulterated truth to which I have devoted my life to the understanding of, and sharing with the world. As I learn more, and experience more, and sink deeper into it's warmth, I become closer to what I feel is the ultimate in the human experience.
What is the fire that burns, but does not consume?
It is truth.
And I speak my truth through music.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
The Beauty of Absence
It truly never ceases to amaze me on my journey through life how each and every day there is some change effected upon us. Whether this is something minute, or grand and life changing, every day the experience is slightly different. As humans, we tend to dwell overmuch on those changes we see as 'negative' throwing out those events that have worked out to our favor. One of the most potent niches that this type of behavior is prevalent in is that of loss. For some reason, regardless of what it is we have lost, we view that missing person or thing as a depreciation of our overall situation in life. Perhaps it is a matter of comfort, that people resist change of any sort. Perhaps it is greed, in that they wish to retain all they gain and lose nothing. Or perhaps it is merely a representation of the human condition: that we cannot wholly perceive the circumstances that have preceded the change, nor the intended result of it. (This is being written on the premise that you agree that there IS an intent behind the mechanisms of the world, but that's a discussion for another article.) What this leaves us with, if we react as men tend to do, is either anger, sadness, or confusion. I posit that instead of those ways of thinking, you instead see each change as a new open door, an opportunity. For every space that is vacated in your life, there is a void that you can fill with whatever you choose. Many men see this and try to fill it with material goods, or drugs, or false love, because they fear that space. It makes us uneasy to see emptiness, particularly in what we view as important stations in our lives. If you must fill that space with something, fill it with what will bring you the greatest betterment, happiness, and peace. Ultimately, however, I wish you to consider leaving those spaces vacant. Peer into that void, find out what it is about what you've lost that makes you feel incomplete, and strive to externalize those things that are not directly part of your self.
You find most often that those people who are most at peace are those who have least. This is not because they have become peaceable with their misfortunes in life, it is that they understand the nature of the absence of something. To find out what is NOT part of you is the most efficient way to figure out which elements are. After you've lost everything that is not your essence, those things that remain are the truest parts of you. Do not underestimate the importance of loss, absence, and space. In these times, men afford themselves far to little of any of those. Whatever we lose, collectively, as humans, it cannot beat us. We are strangely temporal beings in that fact, we understand that something that was no longer is, and yet we have the capacity to take that concept and move forward with it. The one thing that has held us back is our short memories. Know that as individuals, every experience you endure, or enjoy, impacts all of us in a profound way.
But I digress. Appreciate your losses, mourn them while you must, but then drink deeply of the wisdom and compassion that you can gain from the experience.
Absence truly can be beautiful.
You find most often that those people who are most at peace are those who have least. This is not because they have become peaceable with their misfortunes in life, it is that they understand the nature of the absence of something. To find out what is NOT part of you is the most efficient way to figure out which elements are. After you've lost everything that is not your essence, those things that remain are the truest parts of you. Do not underestimate the importance of loss, absence, and space. In these times, men afford themselves far to little of any of those. Whatever we lose, collectively, as humans, it cannot beat us. We are strangely temporal beings in that fact, we understand that something that was no longer is, and yet we have the capacity to take that concept and move forward with it. The one thing that has held us back is our short memories. Know that as individuals, every experience you endure, or enjoy, impacts all of us in a profound way.
But I digress. Appreciate your losses, mourn them while you must, but then drink deeply of the wisdom and compassion that you can gain from the experience.
Absence truly can be beautiful.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Essence of Love
I spent a great deal of time trying to make this most intangible of emotions fit my usual style of prose, but after about eight hours worth of work, I decided that the best direction to choose is one of poetry.
From the beginning, men were made to be partnered
Yet such things have come forth, that they might stand in the way
Regardless of effort, no care for time, they will alter
Those things we love best, and leave us out in the rain
As people, we try to stand up and take what is given
But those who might give are often hurried away
And if you offer all, your life, love, and oaths of commitment
You will quickly find, just one will accept and stay
Approach with caution, now, and in your heart: forgiveness
Take control of your life, and save those gifts for your truth
Life is harsh, yes child, it can be so
But don't allow those clouds of resentment to bar your way
Come in with a fresh heart, door wide open to all
Remember that the pain slips in, but it's oh so worth the cost
When you find that place, as many a man has before you
Hold on with your life, and bear no quarrel between
The sacrifice of the self for the love of your other is sacred
And if they respond in kind, light will shine through
I've had my trials, yes, I've certainly been there
Had my face in the coals, my feet hung over the flames
You must go forth now, and take with you this wisdom
That within your self, peace must prosper and grow
Only then can you share joy with others
When your sanctum of soul is free from all of the dust
Fear no man, take your life in your hands, and walk swiftly
But not so quick that you miss the journey along the way
You follow the paths of many that walked here before you
Lose no hope, for they will show you the way
Claim your love, it's yours, and divinely presented
And pray that your partner will not long be astray
Tempests of passion, storms of indignation
Fits of rage, none can stand to compare
This feeling within, the state of mind of contentment
Though when it's lost, often one falls to despair
If your love seems lost, and no hope is found, join with me, here
And hand in hand, you and I will find our way
Do you dare to dream, your fantasies and desires
Will they guide your path, or somehow lead you away
If you choose your life to be lived here, right in this moment
Take the love that you have, and savor it for today
From the beginning, men were made to be partnered
Yet such things have come forth, that they might stand in the way
Regardless of effort, no care for time, they will alter
Those things we love best, and leave us out in the rain
As people, we try to stand up and take what is given
But those who might give are often hurried away
And if you offer all, your life, love, and oaths of commitment
You will quickly find, just one will accept and stay
Approach with caution, now, and in your heart: forgiveness
Take control of your life, and save those gifts for your truth
Life is harsh, yes child, it can be so
But don't allow those clouds of resentment to bar your way
Come in with a fresh heart, door wide open to all
Remember that the pain slips in, but it's oh so worth the cost
When you find that place, as many a man has before you
Hold on with your life, and bear no quarrel between
The sacrifice of the self for the love of your other is sacred
And if they respond in kind, light will shine through
I've had my trials, yes, I've certainly been there
Had my face in the coals, my feet hung over the flames
You must go forth now, and take with you this wisdom
That within your self, peace must prosper and grow
Only then can you share joy with others
When your sanctum of soul is free from all of the dust
Fear no man, take your life in your hands, and walk swiftly
But not so quick that you miss the journey along the way
You follow the paths of many that walked here before you
Lose no hope, for they will show you the way
Claim your love, it's yours, and divinely presented
And pray that your partner will not long be astray
Tempests of passion, storms of indignation
Fits of rage, none can stand to compare
This feeling within, the state of mind of contentment
Though when it's lost, often one falls to despair
If your love seems lost, and no hope is found, join with me, here
And hand in hand, you and I will find our way
Do you dare to dream, your fantasies and desires
Will they guide your path, or somehow lead you away
If you choose your life to be lived here, right in this moment
Take the love that you have, and savor it for today
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